This post is in the Empathy category


Dear Reader

Oh, My God, I just viewed the first tape from the studio session with Emma I can only say I am horrified. I can’t believe how rude I am, how insensitive to both her and Eric. If she doesn’t come back I will not be surprised and I wouldn’t blame her.

She has just met Eric and I have practically told her she needs to learn how to sing in front of him, criticising her vocal performance in what we both know was an ad-hoc “this is how it goes” moment. In the video her body language clearly shows that she is defensive and uncomfortable, poor girl. I’ve hurt her feelings, and embarrassed her in front of someone she wants to work with. I’m looking right at her and I didn’t see it, just kept going. What a prick! I didn’t even pick up the tone of voice and I thought I was OK at that. I can’t see Eric’s face in the picture, but he also looks uncomfortable, looking at the floor and shifting his weight. He picks up his guitar and holds it in front of him – I’m sure Alan Pease1would call that a defensive posture.

Remembering the moment, I can only recall the words, not the vision, I’ve taken all the verbal feedback as agreements, when really she’s lying! She’s hiding her feelings, saying one thing and meaning another! How often does this happen? How often do I really upset people and not know it? How gullible am I?

Well there’s one problem solved. I wondered if I would be able to read the body language on video, and now I know I can. I’m not sure I can deal with the results though, if it’s going to be much like this.

  1. body language man []

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