K - from Those With Lucifer, Zen Zen Zo Physical Theatre. (c) M Roberts 2005

Dear Reader

Sometimes a communication occurs in a way that is simply overwhelming.

My relationship with K was limited to that between musician and performer, but during rehearsal of Zen Zen Zo's Those with Lucifer I had an experience that will remain with me.

The scene depicted below, at the beginning of the show represented innocence prior to experience of "seven deadly sins". The music was not mine in this moment, although my pieces scored Lust, Greed and Wrath. To beautiful music by Sigur Ros, the performers slowly emerge through the cold smoke in the old electrical substation that was the performance as well as rehearsal venue, their eyes fixed, hands raised as if in some kind of surrender. In this production the boundaries between performer and audience are distinctly fluid and and the it is not uncommon to find a sweating, nearly naked performer in one's personal space. I was standing beside the railing to the left of the picture when K entered mine. As she approached, she held my gaze I became intensely aware that I was looking into someone's emotions. I was overwhelmed and tears started to roll down my face - and hers. I cannot name the emotion I felt more accurately than "sadness", and I have no idea what was going through her mind, but I had very rarely experienced this level of connection.

Searching - Zen Zen Zo, Those with Lucifer (c) M. Roberts 2004

I have been aware for years of the theory behind stripping the body in performance, removing external reference to conventions, ideas, roles and relying on the body and face to transmit the ideas and emotions in a more visceral way. It emphasises the body on one hand and desexualises it on the other. Combine whole-body language, an acquired intellectual understanding of the scene's meaning and powerfully "signifier laden" music, and even I am going to feel something. This one really got to me though.

I wonder too, if perhaps my experiences with ZZZ's work and a love of dance and physical theatre offer me a way of experiencing emotion with a reduced text, in an environment that is one-step-removed and a little more safe.

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